So there’s this girl Meagan who waits tables at a restaurant I frequent. We’ve been exchanging glances since I first saw her there: about a month. I finally go to talk to her as the days went on and the guys who worked there assured me she was single. This Monday I finally asked for her number and she gave it to me. She seemed totally interested, likes the same things I like. I told her I’d call her later in the week and we’d go do something. She said fine and that was it. More glances, more smiles. After I get back to work, a co-worker comes in and tells me that she had given me the wrong number and that she had given it to her boss and the boss called the co-worker to give it to me. Wow: she seems very interested, doesn’t she?

I wait until Thursday (just three days, which I hear is appropriate so as not to seem desperate and not potentially freak someone out) and give her a call about an hour after her work closed to see if she’d like to do something over the weekend. No pickup, no return call. I call again later that evening around 9. No pickup, no return call. I try again Friday evening. Same thing. So I call her this morning. I finally get a text message response from her telling me that she was busy with work and school and was “in a relationship right now”. What? Did this magically happen between Monday and Thursday? (Actually they’ve been together a year. Yeah, it’s not ending anytime soon.) And she clarified that it was her boss, not her, who made sure I got the right number. So, she gave me an incorrect number on purpose?

What the hell is wrong with girls?! Why can’t they just say what they’re supposed to say and make things a lot less confusing for all involved. And since when did text messaging become the preferred venue to have important conversations? She even got real defensive and was like, “first of all, it was this guy who made sure you got the right number, not me”. And God forbid if someone will actually discuss these things in a text or phone call or in person or in any way, shape or form since communication and making sure the other person is okay about the whole screwed chance thing isn’t very important to anyone at all anymore. Unless, of course, you’re the one who needs to feel okay about the whole screwed chance thing.

So now I’m listening to Lonely People by America. Yeah, Jason. Wallow in it. And while I’m thinking about it: why is it that all the women who seem interested in me are already married? What’s up with that? Can someone please explain this phenomenon to me? I just don’t get it. God said some of us aren’t meant to marry. Maybe that’s me. But I want a family. Or do I? I don’t know if I’m young enough to start one. I wanted to start having kids around 30. Well, I’m almost 30 and I don’t even know any single girls who want to go out with me. So yeah…that pretty much kills that plan.

Well, fuck me and my singleness, then. I hate this single shit and I’m tired of all the dead ends. Yeah, sure it’s liberating as sin but what are you supposed to do when you come home after a shitty day and there’s no one home to give you a damn hug? When the fuck will I finally get a turn at being the boyfriend…and in a relationship that lasts more than three months? What the hell is so damned screwed up with me that no woman wants to be with me?

What’s so wrong with dating me?! Am I clingy? Do I smell bad?

I have a steady job, I’m artistic, my hobbies win awards, my side jobs keep me creatively balanced, I have lots of free time, I’m loyal and fun and funny. I have my own house, my own car, I’m independent and make my own rules and hours. I’m a good friend and a good listener, I’m up for just about anything. I think I’m a pretty swell guy and don’t mind opening doors for women or splitting a tab. And you know what? I’m not that bad looking, either. So why is it so difficult for me to find someone? Am I not looking in enough places? Do I need to broaden my search?

Maybe it’s because I write all my problems down in a blog.

There is an online petition to stop Uwe Boll from ever, ever making another movie…ever.

Boll is the guy responsible for Postal, Blood Rayne, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Alone in the Dark and if they all sound like video games, that’s because those are all based on them. He recently tried to buy the rights to World of Warcraft and Blizzard virtually laughed him out of their office.

I signed the petition (I’m number 318715) and I hear if it hits a million he would consider quitting. I doubt that will happen, but whatever. As long as companies are greedy enough for his money and people keep watching his movies, he’ll probably keep making them.

While I’m on the subject, we REALLY need to stop Paul W.S. Anderson, too. He’s the guy responsible for Resident Evil, Aliens vs. Predator, Mortal Kombat, Death Race and the upcoming Spy Hunter. But, then, Anderson’s movies are merely bad…not abominably unwatchable as Uwe’s are.

I decided to cut my hair Friday night but the two electric cutters I tried didn’t work so I threw them to the bathroom floor a few times each until they both shattered. I’m serious and this post is not meant to be funny at all. And tonight, a few minutes ago, I got mad at my iPhone for defaulting to the first web site in its queue rather than the fifth one where I had it last so I punched it and shattered its glass face. I’m now online wondering if the $250 repair tag is worth it or if I should do a DIY fixer…or just upgrade to a 3G. This would be an excuse to upgrade, albeit not a decent one by any measure. Also, the last time I owned a real iPod was the new Nano when it came out. I got angry at something and punched it, too, shattering it. Both that time and this time I saw what I had done, quietly said “oh no” with a lump in my throat and cried wishing I was a better human being than whatever the hell monster I’m becoming.

I’m so lonely and angry that I even put my camera gear in danger when I use it in inhospitable conditions, and I physically lash out at inanimate objects whenever they don’t do precisely what I want them to do all the time, every time. I punch holes in walls and doors and I have a habit of enjoying watching the world burn a little bit more every day. I’m sick and I don’t care. I wish I were a better person. But I’m not. And I don’t think I care. All I know is now when I use my beautiful iPhone for anything, I risk cutting myself on the shattered touch screen. But I deserve it.

So there’s this thing going on right now whereabouts I live that a local Justice of the Peace is giving parents an option when dealing with their truant kids. They either pay the $500 fine or they spank the kid with a paddle right there in the courtroom. Strangely enough, whether by influence of finance or something else, the parents are largely choosing to whop the kid.

As an advocate for corporal punishment, I think what the J.P.’s doing is great. But now I hear that the J.P. is being sued by the parents of a 15-year old girl. I’m willing to bet that the parents of this little princess never spanked her once in her entire life. Here are the news stories:

Pay the fine or swat your child

Local J.P. Sued for offering spanking punishment

So there’s this guy who opines idiotically about the J.P. being sued. His name is The Truth and he says this:

This judge has some serious mental problems for having a girl be spanked with a paddle in front of guys and other people. At least no one should of seen this, when people think of spanking, they also associate it with sex, i am woundering [sic] about if this judge is perverted or just has some mental problems. Personally, i think any person who hits kids that arent [sic] theres, has a big problem, along with Judges, Police men, Teachers, Principals, people who propose laws to beat kids as a punishment and anyone else who likes to hit kids that arent theres is a discrace [sic] to our society and vigalantes [sic] should take action, or stop hitting kids.

I responded, thusly:

“Spanking”, “beating” and “hitting” are totally different things and no one is doing either of the latter. This is about corporal punishment by parental figures, Truth; there’s no one “beating” kids who don’t belong to them in this story.

You seriously need to do your research. Just ask around. You will find that a great deal of the well-behaved, well-adjusted adults in the world (and who also believe in corporal punishment) were spanked when they were kids. They know spanking, nay: the FEAR of getting spanked, works better than harsh words or grounding or time outs. What happens when you tell a misbehaving kid that you’re going to punish him in three seconds if he doesn’t settle down, then you count to three and then you don’t punish him, you just say “I’ll count again, and THIS TIME I’ll mean it”…what happens? The kid just keeps misbehaving! Bad deeds without punishment means the kid will grow up knowing that he can be a total jagweed and no one will do anything to stop him. This is why there’s so many douchebags in this country: parents have wussed out and don’t want to properly discipline their kids out of fear of hurting their relationship with their “perfect little angel” when all they’re actually doing is making the kid resent the parent for giving them an improper childhood: something that kid won’t realize until he’s 40…if people like me let people like them LIVE to see that age. Douchebags…

So I’ve been seeing this girl named Claudia. She’s Laura’s sister who is Catty’s study partner. Catty is Mariano’s wife. So Laura and Catty tried to hook me up with Claudia blind date style. Our first date is at Logan’s Steakhouse, the next week our second date is at La Pampa Argentinian Steakhouse.

Then a week goes by.

Meanwhile I’m calling her and stuff and she’s just not picking up. Then I leave a message tonight that I’ve been sick this weekend and she calls me back because she heard that I was sick and wanted to say hi and see how I was doing. So I ask her when I can see her again. She tells me it depends on how busy she is. I say “ok, ‘cuz I’d really like to see you again.” And she says “well, just call me and we’ll see.”

The point is that she doesn’t pick up. Ever. You figure if she likes you she’ll pick up or at least call you back. I don’t understand this. And then she tells me that she was busy this whole weekend hanging out with friends…and family. And I’m like, I’ve been calling you to hang out with you this whole time and you never picked up. How do you figure these people are getting ahold of her? They’re probably calling her and she’s picking up. Why can’t there be a woman out there who treats a relationship the same way I do? At least, the same way I try to.

Damn it.

She did say that the movie August something reminded her of me because it was about a boy and his music. You know? Because I’m so creative. I asked her if there were anything else that reminded her of me and she paused and said she couldn’t answer that because it put her on the spot. Right.

I’ll probably never hear from her again.

UPDATE – November 11: Well, I tried calling her tonight a little after 6pm (when I normally would call) and it rang once and went to voicemail. She cleared me. I guess that’s her way of nailing the coffin closed. Yeah, I know what “we’ll see” means. Now I know it means the same with her. There was nothing special about her. She’s just like all the rest. Moving on…

…is my post about the cup chicks thing at 80,840…no wait, let me refresh the stats…80,956 hits. I’ll check it again when I’m finished writing this post. This is ridiculous. Why are people so damned disgusting? The post had 4,880 hits YESTERDAY. The second most famous post is the one called My Last Post which had “cup chicks” in the tag.

It’s hits? 1,095.

Third most famous post is the one about my father who passed away recently. It got a grand total of 13 hits. I’m pretty embarrassed about this, actually. At least the original post has only gotten 383 hits (as of right now). That means it’s met a loss of over 4,000 since yesterday. Then again, it’s only a little before 7pm tonight and, as they say, the freaks come out at night. Now that I’m done with this post, I’m going to check the current hit count. 81,036. And I wrote this in about 13 minutes (hey, the World Series is going on behind me). 81,056. That wasn’t even a minute. This is ridiculous.

Jorge pointed me to this on the Rush Hour 3 board at IMDB.com.

Someone said this:
Does it bother anyone else that in the commercials for this movie, its not just Rush Hour 3, its “Rush Hour 3: A Brett Ratner film?”. Uhhhh..? Is Brett Ratner’s resume really enough to demand that? Not exactly Spielberg or James Cameron. Take a peek at his directors credits. What exactly is any good there?

Then again theres also the chance that this movie is SO bad, they are trying to lend it any credibility they can, even if it means bludgeoning us with the name of a middle of the road director.

So I said this:
My thoughts on this subject: Let’s start by looking at what a film is for comparison.

Red Dragon was a “film”.* Rush Hour 3 is NOT a film. Rush Hour 3 is a movie. I also don’t care that Brett Ratner made it.**

Unless you’re Steven Spielberg, Ridley Scott, Martin Scorsese, Francis Ford Coppola, James Cameron or George Lucas, I’m pretty sure that no one cares who you are, Mister or Misses Director, or that you just made some movie. I’m sure you’re very proud of your first feature length epic since film school eight years ago, but if you’re not someone anyone’s ever heard of, plastering your name all over the trailer for your piece of crap isn’t going to make people notice you. Making a great movie will. Trust me: people DO read the credits to movies they like. Up until the producer part, anyway. Like that guy who made Saw? I didn’t care that Saw was a Whatever His Name Is film and I cared even less for it that someone thought the movie could be prestigious enough to be considered a film. I also think it’s appropriate that he couldn’t find work afterwards enough to do anything other than a sequel to his previous work of schlock. F#c& him and his ego.

And frankly, Michael Bay, I don’t care that you think Transformers is a film. Because it’s not. It’s a movie. Transformers is a movie! A schlocky, badly written, poorly coordinated movie. The only reason you look good is because you studied the Ridley Scott method of filmmaking and hired the right people to make you look good. But unlike Ridley Scott, sir, you couldn’t direct piss out of a boot if the script was written on the heel. You’re also childish, petty and dumb.***

Citizen Kane is a film. And I’m pretty sure Orson Wells didn’t run around Hollywood saying it was his. Oh, wait…yeah he did. A lot. In fact, it pretty much ruined him. Stupid William Randolph Hearst making it impossible for Wells to work in that town again…

So, yeah. A Brett Whatner film?!****

*Everything Ratner has done, besides Red Dragon, has been a “movie” — forgettable yet, entertaining, movies. Red Dragon was his attempt to show himself he could make an actual “film”. Ratner didn’t create the look of the movie, rather he emulated the work of Jonathan Demme and Tak Fujimoto to make Red Dragon meld with its predecessor The Silence of The Lambs. It’s interesting that Ratner used Dante Spinotti as his DP for Red Dragon since he was the DP on Manhunter, the Michael Mann movie based from the Red Dragon novel by Thomas Harris and the first time we see Hannibal Lecter.

****Incidentally, Brett Ratner is a stupid name.

Then someone else said this:
I disagree! His films are entertaining and this was fantastic.

To which I said this:
This is not to say Brett Ratner is a bad director, just misunderstood. His movies, for the most part are quite entertaining, but that’s not the subject of this thread. The subject of this thread is to point out that Brett Ratner is not well established enough to warrant having his name used to promote a movie as its director.

That sort of thing might pass on the Arsenio Hall show, but NOT HERE, dammit!

…I’m just saying a great director would go on The Tonight Show, that’s all.

I just learned a new word. Grandiloquence is “speech that is lofty in tone, often to the point of being pompous or bombastic” says Dictionary.com¹. I will use my new-found friend as such: “Michael Bay is the master of grandiloquence.” There. Now I feel better about Transformers.

Wait. No I don’t.

¹Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

Why don’t women tell you when they’re no longer interested in you, instead of just ignoring you and not communicating with you as if the sudden disappearance is a message that I should just understand automatically that they don’t want to see me anymore? Whatever happened to communication? Why don’t we do that anymore? Instead of running away from a problem, why don’t women just face it, stand up to it and try to make it better?

Maybe they do and I’m just the unfortunate one to have never met a woman who actually communicates. Movies and television tell me that men are the ones who are afraid of commitment and don’t communicate while the women complain but put up with them anyway. Meanwhile, in the Jasonverse, I’m the guy that’s not afraid of commitment and enjoys communication whereas the women in my life are, well, they’re flaky. It’s like the perfect woman (for me) is a myth; someone that lives in the movies, complaining that they can’t find a guy like…me.

One more girl in out of my life. She should have called me.

Yeah, so Drive has been canceled. That irks me as I’ve fallen in love with the series. I’m going to buy it on iTunes tonight and buy it again when/if it hits DVD. Maybe there’ll be some kind of Family Guy kind of revival. I doubt it, though. First Firefly now Drive. Pisses me off. And that’s because I work for FOX.